What does the funeral ceremony contain?
Every funeral is different. The culture, faith, values and personality of the deceased and the family members, all of these are reflected in the funeral. Therefore, just as we live very different lives, funerals are also very different and in the end every funeral is unique.
However, there are common elements that should be considered when planning the funeral. Whether or not certain elements will be included, and what their preferred order is, will depend on the personal preference of the family and sometimes the requests of the deceased.
If you are planning a funeral, the following list can help you think about the most common options. Obviously, you are not limited to these components and you are not required to include them all, this is another way to think about the components and contents of a funeral. Funerals and memorials are meant to honor the lives of the deceased. The only significant difference is that the body or its remains are present at the funeral. There is no “body” in the memorial service.
The components of the funeral ceremony serve several purposes:
- Support for mourners and help to recognize and begin the process of accepting the reality of death.
- presenting reflections of the deceased’s life while building a sense of a meaningful life.
- An opportunity for a final physical farewell to the deceased – to sit next to him, say goodbye, ask for forgiveness, say thank you
- Encouraging the expression of grief in a way that is compatible with the cultural values of the deceased
- Strengthening the sense of continuity of life
Elements of a funeral
The physical separation
After the announcement of the death of the family member, some want to say goodbye to him. To sit next to him, say goodbye to him, ask for forgiveness, say thank you, wish, bless, say everything we wanted to say and didn’t say, didn’t have time or didn’t dare. Since the end of the funeral symbolizes more than anything the separation from the body (burial of the body), it is important to give an opportunity for the physical separation before the funeral begins. The farewell can take place at the place of death (at home or in the hospital) or at a cemetery that allows this type of service.
The music
Throughout history, the use of music has helped us mark life events. The same is true for funeral music. Choosing the right music or song helps us embrace our loss, deal with our feelings of sadness and begin dealing with our grief. The song or songs chosen also help to “set the tone” for the funeral – from deep loss to the optimism of the continuity of life. Music can also be used to personalize the funeral – the deceased’s favorite song will evoke certain memories for the mourners. There are people who choose songs that remind them of behavior, character traits of the deceased, activities that the deceased loved. Some people choose to incorporate background music played by a band into the ceremony.
Reading poetry
Like music, funeral chants also offer us the opportunity to express our feelings regarding the loss of a loved one. There are funerals where, in addition to obituaries, there are several readings, but there are no fixed rules. The type of readings has very few limitations. It is not uncommon to see lyrics and songs together with passages from the Bible. In the reading, you honor someone you have lost and express how you feel about the loss. Any piece can be used in a tasteful and appropriate way regardless of the genre.
The obituary
The obituary is a speech delivered by an associate, friend, or family member to honor the life of the deceased. An obituary honors the deceased, recognizes the importance of a unique life and captures some of the memories left behind. An obituary written correctly and delivered with sincerity, love and respect will evoke memories associated with the deceased person and provide comfort to those present. There is no limit to the number of mourners, but it is advisable to limit the time so as not to burden the attention time of those coming to the funeral. It is not uncommon to see funerals with three to five obituaries.
Symbols
Both religious and secular symbols are a common part of funerals (and memorials). Flowers, candles, stones – they all evoke emotions among those who are in mourning. Psychologists and grief experts often refer to the importance of symbols as part of our way of expressing our feelings. You can often see the importance of parting with the laying of a stone or flowers. Of course we can make sure you have a stock of flowers and even unique farewell stones for the ceremony.
Memories
Funerals are part of a long journey of farewell that honors the deceased. Sharing memories is an important part of the grieving process and is a strong glue between the mourners. In fact, incorporating memories is a very effective way to personalize a funeral. In addition to obituaries, you can ask relatives of the deceased to share a special memory or talk about your loved one. You can show photos or a tribute video. You can make a memorial book with pictures of letters and blessings collected over the years and place it on a memorial table. There are many ways in which memories can be incorporated into a funeral. There are people who, while alive, prepare the memories and commemorative actions that they want to take place after their death – sometimes they prepare in advance a video or a reading that was given by the deceased while he was alive. These messages will always receive full attention at the funeral.
The above are the most common elements of a funeral. They are not restrictive and what is right for you is not necessarily right for another. We at your way try to help people separate in their own way. We will be happy to answer any question you may have!
